Finally after 15 years and a teaser trailer inbetween "Death Proof" and Planet Terror" we get "MACHETE" Check out the review:

MACHETE DON'T TEXT, MACHETE KILLS!

Machete, the new Robert Rodriguez film and latest installment to the Grind House series. Robert says that he came up with the idea way back when he was shooting Desperado. For some reason it took over 15 years to make it into a real movie. Is it worth the wait? Hell yeah it is! Personally, I think this is the best Grind House flick of them all. I’ve been a Danny Trejo fan since Desperado but I'll admit I had my doubts as to whether he could pull off a leading role. Rest assured he pulls it off as easily as he pulls of decapitated heads. As with the previous two flicks Machete continues with the stylistic B-movie look with plenty of film dirt, scratches and cigarette burns that will subconsciously transport you into a dirty 1970's drive in.

Danny Trejo plays Machete, ex-Federale massively wronged and out for justice/revenge upon those who wronged him. Think of Machete as the Mexican Shaft. He kicks ass and loves the ladies, and the ladies love Machete. You get your moneys worth of blood and guts before the opening title sequence even starts. After that it's more of the same. With massive amounts of violence throughout Rodriguez does an amazing job keeping the disturbance level down. There's a very high laugh factor and even during the most gruesome scenes you find yourself laughing out loud and applauding it. That being said he's able to keep the cheese factor down. This is definitely not a comedy but there are plenty soon to be classic one liners found throughout the film.

Some surprisingly note worthy performances include Steven Seagal who plays the heavy, heavy sword wielding drug lord Torrez and Lindsay Lohan the daughter of another baddie who doesn't get too much screen time but makes the best of the time she gets. Jessica Alba has some great scenes but Michelle Rodriguez is the most bad ass sexy one eyed chicka ever! De Niro is just as good as you would expect him to be and both Don Johnson & De Niro completely rocks their roles. They are both very good at playing the very baddies.

If you've seen the first two Grind House films then you should already know what you're getting yourself into. Machete does not disappoint. This will be a definite Blu-ray buy to add to your Grind House collection when it is eventually released. But don't wait till then, I suggest seeing this with a rowdy crowd at a late night screening if possible. It's one of those films that benefit from audience outbursts, "Oh no he didn't!" The audience participation definitely increased my viewing pleasure and made the whole night a lot more fun. Why are you still reading this? Go, see it now!

Until next time, keep your eyes on the screen and your hands outta my popcorn! - Julian Riskus